Onion-Bieber has my back

The last couple of times Joel has gotten really drunk within my earshot, he's formed a habit of lapsing into defenses of Catholicism and monotheism/creationist ideas more generally- even going so far as to state that creationist ideas, provided said ideas only address things science isn't emphatically addressing quite yet, should be taught in schools. His argument hinges on the fact that, according to him, something had to have started the big bang a-bangin'! And if so, why couldn't that initiating whatsit be the Big G? Inevitably we argue, but even in close proximity to the UW, I'm often the lone voice to stand against the big, superstitious dummy. Well I no longer struggle alone- check it, the Bieber's got my back .

The pertinent excerpt:

"Unfortunately, I cannot tell you how better to use your comically tiny duration of sentience. Perhaps tell your family you love them; ponder the intricate beauty of a dew-flecked spiderweb; listen to Nicki Minaj's very good studio debut Pink Friday. In the end, however, none of these things will matter all that much either, not in the great and widening chasm of geological time—let alone when one considers the age of the cosmos from which it has sprung. But maybe in these ways you can draw a brief moment of respite from the existential dread. Ultimately, I believe that this is all one can reasonably hope for.

There is no God."

You see that Joel? We just are, and not for very long. Justin Bieber says so! No need to teach high school kids that leprechauns might exist or that The Flying Spaghetti Monster ® might have started the whole shebang.