Ride this TAIL

funny thing is I don't agree with either of you, but somehow I'm super envious of Nate's ability to still find romance in people he doesn't know, and Patrick's dream that other people's coattails may somehow be more interesting or profound. One thing I know about myself is that I'm constantly bored and usually finding new ways to fucking throw myself into things I don't know or understand, put myself out there to get shit on, all for some thrill or challenge that I realize isn't that thrilling or challenging. But at least I can say that I'm a jack of all trades. One thing I realized early on which is why I never find other people's lives or lies that interesting is that the people I most looked up to creativily in music and writing or somehow found their being interesting, usually end up being douche bags or so boring cause their filled in shit by their own narcissism. Which has only made me appreciate more the few assholes that I care about and enjoy my time being around, many on this message board. I think my life is too interesting sometimes that now nothing fucking shocks me. April 30th I will be throwing a seahawks themed party for a client of mine, because he went a month without trying to kill himself or me. We will eat only chocolate pudding at this party and this is his second month without him ending up in observational. hurray. I found my male twin, no joke and we share the same birthday(creepy), and he's the first person I could actually see myself with.I think Patrick still could make his life interesting and Nate doesn't have to lie. The way I fucking cope is only through not thinking and humor, then you can do anything. Since I am in observational a lot, I see most people who are on their way out mentally, are completely fucking numb and have no sense of humor. Okay I had a point and now I'm just rambling. I guess I think both of what you guys said is a cop out to making your life more interesting, and if you weren't that interesting Patrick I wouldn't want to talk to you. I'm waiting for the mundane, I embrace the days where I drink beer all fucking day and ride my bike, like I got to today.
On another note I have been obviously into death, I watched this documentary called "At the Death house door" It is about this endearing priest who when the death penalty got reinstated in Texas 1982 I think, got assigned the job as death chaplain and since the man had a hard time revealing his emotions he made tapes of every singe person he walked with on death row. I cried when I watched it, but when I talked about it later that night I drunkingly made jokes about Texas ol' sparky or their killer hamburger. The person I was with thought that it was horrible I would make jokes about that kind of thing. I said good fucking luck dealing with anything. I feel sorry for you, you probably won't do much, I know I have to fucking find humor in things to cope with my job, things I am passionate about and most of all high school students, otherwise I would always go home and cry, or hide, or give up. I don't want to ride on anyone's coattails or lies, I just fucking want to be able to breathe, with a beer and my bike, and my friends, who some live too fucking far away now. By the way I'm in Seattle this weekend, and the holytailfeathers is playing a benefit on Sunday, I hope to see you all, the show starts early and we play at 9pm sharp and I hate talking to people I don't know or give a flying shit about. I'm pretty drunk, finally I work too much.