Friday, September 4, 2009

party over

Beware of those whom you think you know.

Mr. Nate Murphy may present himself as a lover of music, but he is not.
He is a destroyer of music. He delivers silence.

It was a risky proposition to allow the valued 45s to come out during a party. I thought I could trust this particular DJ with the tall responsibility of protecting the records of history while sharing them with the people. That was a mistake that no one else need make. His intentions were never to better the world with the sweet sounds of old notes. The truth is clear. The only sound he enjoys more than the silence after smashing a musical record is the echo of the shards hitting the ground.

This was no burned CD broken; no mere inconvenience. This was an original 45 rpm record by King Elvis Presley. A Hound Dog has been viciously murdered. It may be replaceable after much time spent in front of a computer, but the copy once owned by my grandfather's brother is now garbage to be buried. Under the guise of offering to light her cigarette, Mr. Murphy would burn a book right in the frail hands of an old lady.

Do not let this man near your music collection. Do not let this man near your children. He will smash them. He will eat them. He will deny everything, but the scattered vinyl bones will tell the tale of savage recklessness.

2 comments:

  1. I was under the impression he's merely tried to eat the 45s. This story has turned from adorable to horrific in such a short time.

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  2. This was about the funniest thing I've read in a long time,wait better than the kill Brooke Weber post. Never seen Nate try to eat unedible objects, he tried to bite my friend Nora's ass at his grad party...

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