My Life on Craigslist

I had a film show recently and had a projector break right before the show. I was kind of desperate for one, and I found one on craigslist in New Orleans. It wasn't a projector I would normally buy unless I was desperate, which I was, so I contacted the guy, who was asking way too much for it ($100), especially in these here tough economic times. Here's how it went:

Me:

I am interested in the projector. Give me a call ASAP! Thanks. -Ian 504-496-7423

After this, I ingnored his emails and calls. I simply couldn't afford to buy it - even if it was $10. (I am broke, by the way.) Four days later:

Him:

Good morning,

Are you still interested in the projector? It's yours for $75 if you still want it. I have another fellow who is interested, but he has stood me up twice now. Please let me know asap via email or phone (504)912.5083 . I left a message for you the other day too.

Warmest Regards, Christopher

Feeling slightly more financially stable, I decided to try and negotiate. Or at least inform him that he is asking way too much money for this thing … a public service.

Me:

I would buy it for $30. That may sound ridiculous to you, but it truly is a reasonable offer. I have been collecting projectors for years. If you tried to sell it on ebay, you would not get $30 for it, I guarantee it. You would be lucky to get $20, after the cost of shipping. Just because people list projectors for $100 on ebay, does not mean they are bid on and sold at that price. Watch a few and see for yourself. I have never paid more than $50 for a projector, and most of mine are much more desirable than the old, school district bell and howell you are selling - they have sound heads, speakers, gentle film path, better lenses, better construction, etc.

If you want to sell it though, I will buy it for $30.

Him:

Thanks, but no thanks. I paid $5 for it at a local auction and it makes a wonderful conversation piece in my home. I can afford to keep it for the time being. FYI....I've been a collector of photographic equipment and ephemera for over 24 years...and I sell on eBay too (for almost 10 years0...I also buy and give appraisals.

Me:

So you know that you won't get $30 for it on ebay. Or $75 locally.

Him:

Ummm...I know that it will eventually sell for more than $50! And furthermore, it will sell for more than the pittance that you offered. I would rather destroy it with a sledgehammer than to sell it to such an arrogant prick such as yourself.

And FYI....the same make and model has sold for $100 on eBay in the past...use Terapeak for your research moron.

Me:

You bought it for $5 and I am an arrogant prick for offering the pittance of $30. You are a retard. You know how much it's worth. Certainly nowhere near the $100 you were asking. That's why you are selling it on craigslist rather than ebay - because you know the market value, and the only way you can get decent money for it is to trick someone local who doesn't know their shit. You're also a dick.

Him:

I buy antiques and collectibles far below what they're worth in order to resell them asshole. I don't put it on eBay because it would cost too much to ship the damn thing. Like I'm gonna listen to some 27 year old cocksucker from Washington State and let him tell a 42 year old man that he KNOWS what he's talking about?...Yeah right!...Keep smoking that crack pipe bub!

It's worth as much as that tight little asshole of yours...priceless...so why don't you bend over and let me fuck you in the ass just the way you like it.

Fucktard!

Me:

Whoa. You are seriously creepy. You need help, man. I'm sorry. You are right, it is worth a lot of money. Just please leave me alone.

This guy seriously wants to hate-fuck me.