I WON $500 LAST NIGHT!!!

...then lost it all, plus a hundred of my own dollars. Intoxicated and stupid, I walked into Harrah's Casino this morning around 3:30am, with Evan, Nate, and a new friend and bad influence of the night, Tony. I followed Evan to the ATM, and proceeded to borrow $100. Game on. A quick walk to the Texas Hold-Em table, and before I know it, I'm kicking ass. Give me that money, keep it comin', bitches. I was on fire. I was feeling like this lady, and the black fella:

I reached the crescendo of my drunken reign. I tried to get up and leave, I the fuck stood up and grabbed my shit, said my goodbyes and all that shit. Then someone said something and I'm stupid, so I stayed. I said, "just let me sit here and watch while I finish my drink." "If you sit at the table, you have to play," the man said. So I stayed and played. Then the fateful hand. I got in too deep with two-pair. Before I know what the fuck, I'm all in against the nice Asian man at the end of the table, for a huge pot. Flush. Game over.

I am having a very difficult time with this. I feel like this guy from depression.com:

I am so fucking pissed. I don't know where my van is, everything is fucked. I'm supposed to do some shit today, go to the grocery store and find my van and generally move forward. HOW AM I GOING TO LIVE???

But as low as I feel, Tony lost $500, which also happened to be all of his money. Tony has a gambling problem. I see that clearly now. Evan lost $100 too, mostly to me. Nate came out even, because he didn't have any money to play with. I think Nate is on to something there.

All I can do is say, "fuck," over and over. That's all I can do for the rest of my fuck life. Fuck!