nectar of the gods

i think i may have hit a personal low, and on the scale of down and dirty, it's really not that bad. especially in light of the company kept on this particular blog, yet i felt i had nowhere else to turn to vent my current discomfort. time and again i am pickling my innards and still i live to tell about it. it just doesn't feel right. so i beg of you, those of you who have discovered self control (is there anybody out there?) what does one do to finally give up the ghost. i am standing in need of a prayer. someone help me save me from myself, the beast inside of me is growing, and she is thirsty. mmmm...bloody marys maybe. help!!